Good News is a brewin'

There are mounds of opportunities stewing...

and I just can't go public about them yet because they may "stew over" and become nothing...but I'll just say I am rather excited! However, I refuse to get my hopes up right now.

Because lets face it, it may turn out to be nothing!

Today is my Friday and I am dang excited to have two days off!

Work this past weekend was ridiculous.

Girls get their panties in a bunch when something does not go their way.

I have never been so frustrated with lack of communication than I was this past weekend.

Thank goodness for days off!

I'll keep you all posted ;)

5:54am wake up call

I work a grave shift every Thursday.

5pm Thursday- 8am Friday.

It is extremely exhausting, but it it knocks off 15 hours, in one shift, of the 40 I get to work every week.

I usually will text my Dad, to help me stay awake, around 4am my time.

After I've sent one text, I get an instant phone call from him.

(He's not a big texter)

We chat for a few minutes and it's back to work I must go.

Well the other night, I was sound asleep...kind of.

I was debating to hit up the gym at 5am or not.

I chose the later, not.

I doze back off to sleep, but not soundly.

I awake to my phone rudely going off at 5:54am.

I see it's my Dad calling and instantly jump out of bed and answer.

(you know, thinking it's an emergency or something)

Oh, what a relief he was just calling to say Hi at 5:54am.

One day he'll learn people my age sleep in past 8am, whenever they can.

His response to my sleepy self

"I'm just getting you back for all the times you've texted me at 3am!"

The difference...he's always awake at that time...I am not.

Someday he'll learn he didn't pass off his "no sleep needed" gene to any of Sowell kids.

Oh Happy Day!

Reasons why today was a good day

* I got to sleep in, late

* The girls were awesome at work tonight

* I made it to the gym after work and it was pretty much empty

* My grade changes from last semester were posted! 4 more credits checked off!

* It didn't snow

* Today is my Friday...I get the next two days off!

And tomorrow...

* I'm going to the gym first thing in the morning

* Then I will most likely take a nap, because lets be honest, naps are amazing

* I'll clean out my car

* Do some laundry

* Organize my room

* hit up institute class

* and then maybe go back to the gym

Life is pretty darn amazing, don't you think?!

***I am focusing on the positives in my everyday life. Sure, there are moments of frustration between each of those happy times, but they don't matter. Being optimistic is the best medicine around...and counting my blessings is what keeps me going***

The Little Things

I FINALLY went back to work yesterday(after three unexpected weeks off)...for a whole 14.5 hours.

By 5:00pm I was drained and ready for bed.

But that's not why I'm writing about my day back at work...

But, here's why.

There's one particular girl in the program who has come from a pretty abusive past.

Probably one of the worst child abuse cases we have in the program right now.

She has a sister, who is younger in the program as well.

But, back to this girl...

She doesn't have any contact to her mom right now, in fact the mother is in jail.

They have two Aunts, who I can't figure out.

They don't come and pick the girls up when they are supposed to.

They let the girls down like there is no tomorrow.

It's been really sad to watch over the past few months.

The only family they basically have doesn't want them.

So, yesterday morning I was probably more crabby than I normally am on Saturday mornings because I was tired and not feeling up to par.

This girl and I hit it off on the wrong note since she woke up.

All day I felt like I was having to ask her multiple times to complete tasks, such as making her bed, folding her laundry, cleaning up her trash, etc.

It got old, real quick.

Then, while we were ice skating, she had one of the other girls come ask me if this other girl could use the restroom.

I lost it.

I said "X, How old are you?!"

X: "15"

"And YOU can't ask to use the bathroom yourself?!?"

I was ticked! Annoyed! ARGH!

I politely told her to use the restroom, but next time she needed to ask me.

We got home that night and I went to do room checks, and her bed was STILL not made.

The only one in the room with sheets still in a pile on the bed.

I, lost it, again!

I called X into her room.

Told her to please have a seat.

I told X there seems to be a miscommunication between X and I today.

I explained how everything I asked her to do today didn't really get completed, in fact, I should not even have to ask for these things to get done. She's been there long enough to know how things are ran on Saturday.

She instantly started to cry. She clenched up. Fists closed tightly.

I was getting my game face on and restraint methods ready.

She started yelling, not at me, but at her life.

How everyone doesn't care about her, how she feels betrayed by her aunts, how her mother abandoned her, how she wanted out of the program. How she hated her life. She hated everything.

I confirmed her feelings, and agreed with her that she has every valid right to feel that way, but that she wasn't allowed to feel like that forever.

I worked through it with her.

Finally, when I could tell she was ready to listen to my 2 cents, I chimed in.

I told her how thankful she should be to her Mother for giving her up, because her life now is ten times better than it was before. She should accept that her mom knew she couldn't provide for X and her sister, and that she needed to be grateful her Mother loved her so much to realize this. I went more into detail about her situations, but you get the big picture ;)

I was also able to explain the little things to be thankful for in life.

X is guaranteed 3 meals a day, a bed to sleep on, X has to shower everyday, clothes are provided.

Yea, she has been through hell, but I wasn't going to let her revert back to the abuse days and miss them. I had to get her to see the road ahead, not the broken road behind her.

After a good hour, she agreed she would write her emotions down and write a letter to her aunts explaining her pain.

When we got up to leave, she turned to me and thanked me from the bottom of her heart for talking to her and listening to her.

She said she needed to hear everything I said to her...what she doesn't know is, I probably needed to hear what I said, more than she did.

I always get caught up in the big ordeal going on in my life.

I forget to take a step back and be thankful for all the little, more important things I have.

So, by the end of my shift, I was thankful I went to work.

I was thankful I was in the right place and the right time to lend an ear, speak a few words, and learn an important lesson with this young girl.

"We have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what we got and remember what we had...

Things go wrong...but life goes on"

*I shared this story more so I will remember this night. I wish you could all have been flies on the wall. It was intense, but amazing all at the same time. I wish I could remember every single word that was spoken by both of us, but I can't. Regardless, I have a brighter look on my life, and hopefully, so does X

2am Rambles

It's 1:45am and I am awake.

Not by choice...not at all.

But...I spent too much time at the gym tonight

hence why I am wide awake.

I decided the gym is my escape.

My safe place away from reality.

I can put my headphones in, turn my music up as loud as I want it to be, and escape.

I've found it extremely therapeutic in a sense.

I can drown out the real world with my music, while I'm in my zone.

I can escape the every-day hassle and the demands of the world.

It's amazing.

I think I am a newly addict of Gold's.

In other news...Andrew got his "assignment"...and though it was nowhere we had anticipated nor had Andrew, I am sure, he never wished this upon himself, but he's headed to ALASKA!

Poor kid won't know what hit him when he sees how darn cold Alaska can be!

I am sure the news was heartbreaking for him, who hoped to go to Florida, Hawaii, or even Germany...Alaska surely wasn't even on his top 50 places to end up, but I am really excited for him!

I know there's a reason he is headed to Alaska. They may just need some really amazing leadership up there right now, they made need a physically and mentally strong individual.

For whatever reason he was chosen to head to Alaska, I know he'll go above and beyond his call of duty.

He'll have to make the best of the situation, as he'll be living there for at least 12-18 months.

I am sure my Dad is in heaven, he has always dreamed about going to Alaska! Andrew gives my parents plenty of reasons to make that dream reality, and visit Alaska, along with Andrew, of course ;). And Hey, this might even mean I get to visit Alaska, which isn't my first choice of a vacation, but it would sure be a sight to see!

I'm proud of him, that is all.

I am sure there were moments in our pre-adult lives that Andrew wanted to fire a real canon at me...

Jamie, I wish I could brag about him, too, but I don't really keep up with his busy life.

He is living the dream in NY City.

Working in a law-firm ( I think? )

And spending any free minute with his amazing Girlfriend.

Life can't be too shabby for him.

It's funny to see where we have all ventured off to.

Who would have thought my parents would have their children all living out of state

Alaska, Utah, and New York.

It's sad to realize none of us will probably ever live in California again.

I always thought I would be a California girl forever...but that's not the case.

And apparently, my siblings won't be California people either.

I am the closest to home though, yet still too far!

My parents are empty-nesters, and apparently empty-staters too!

Tomorrow I am bidding farewell to these amazing girls

We have spent 4 long, difficult, tear-jerking, physically-draining, and losing months together.

I am SO proud of each of these girls for never once quitting on their coaches, who at times wanted to quit on them.

I am not sure the girls learned much, though I hope they have, but they sure taught me a lot.

They taught me what dedication really is all about.

I have never seen such a quite unique team.

From girls coming and going on the team, to losing every single game, to having to learn to trust themselves and one another...their basketball skills weren't the thing to watch.

But it was them becoming a team that was more remarkable.

I am SO thankful I had the opportunity to coach them.

These girls did some HARD things.

I now know I can do hard things.

And, you can too!

Mastering my Fears

I've been sick for almost two weeks....which means I have had A LOT of spare time on my hands.

A good thing? I think so!

I was doing some reading, out of the Ensign, and came across this article.

http://lds.org/ensign/2011/02/did-i-still-love-him?lang=eng

It REALLY stood out to me!

I won't go into too much detail right now, but I felt like I needed to share it.

It probably does not mean anything to many people, but it meant something to me.

I guess the story really brought to light my own insecurities...that maybe I just am not good enough. But... I AM good enough...YOU are good enough.

“Opposition turns up almost anyplace something good has happened. It can happen when you are trying to get an education. It can hit you after your first month in your new mission field. It certainly happens in matters of love and marriage. … There are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. … Face your doubts. Master your fears. ‘Cast not away therefore your confidence.’ Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.”

For me, giving up is always the easiest thing to do. Abandoning shop is what I so often do the first sign of waves.

I am a jumper.

I never face my fears, or my burdens, because that seems to painful and complicated.

I have to remind myself all too often how I have to keep on keepin' on.

I can't allow myself to retreat from hard situations.

I can do hard things.

I have to believe in myself and try.

Because some day, I'll run from the best thing that will ever happen from me.

I don't want to make that mistake.

I am going to master my fear...because it can only make me stronger!

Work+Coaching=Life, with a side of TX

I can't believe January is already in the past and February has started.

2011, thus far, is flying by.

I wish I had more interesting things to blog about, but right now my life is consumed with work and coaching basketball.

No complaints though.

Things are finally running smoothly.

I'm back at the gym 3X a week.

I truly can say everything happens for a reason.

As much as I didn't see why a few months ago, I clearly see why now.

:)

In other news, the team I coach basketball for has made headline news around the world.

We, West Ridge Academy, lost 3-108 to Christian Heritage School.

I have to clarify something.

We NEVER asked for an apology. We didn't even think twice about the score.

We know we're not the strongest team out there.

We just happened to be playing an extremely talented team.

Our girls have never played basketball before.

For them to be a part of a team is huge.

They never gave up.

The score never crossed their minds, nor did it cross mine.

Losing isn't a horrible thing.

My girls know how to handle it.

Obviously, society doesn't.

This loss was minimal to the girls.

So, thank you, everyone (especially the media) for blowing up something so tiny to news that was nation wide worthy.

Cnn. NBC. Inside Edition. ESPN. Good Morning America.

You name it, we made it on it.

Nike has decided to sponsor our school, with new shoes for the girls and $25,000.

So, in the end...we won. A whole lot more than a basketball game.

We won our pride. We won respect.

And most importantly, we gained a whole lot of support.

Our girls are fine. They are pressing forwards and practicing harder than ever.

It's just a game.

In OTHER news...I am headed to Texas in 24 hours to see Andrew's Air Force Boot Camp Ceremony.

I am SO excited to see him, especially how much he has grown up. Not that he wasn't before, but I am pretty sure he will be like a new person.

It's 3:10am and I'm awake...because of fantastic grave yard shifts....not.

At least I'll get a week off :)

If you're interested.

We are replaying CHS on Thursday 2/3.

The Inside Edition will be here to film it, along with many other media outlets.

Look for us.

It's a game you won't want to miss.

Go Lady Eagles!